i'm saving my butt for my wedding night
I want Jason Statham to talk British to my vagina.
you kept saying 'its nothing a six pack wont fix' as they loaded you into the ambulance.
i have to go- we're throwing the dummy from the balcony again
Yeah I had to push her down the hallway to the hotel room in a luggage carrier. The guy at the desk told me goodluck
Beer bonging to Ave Maria
Ok ladies its the usual spring break system. 5 for a guy, 10 for a non-lesbian girl and double points is its a group thing. Hottest guy of the day is an additional 15. GAME ON
Would you like to partake in getting high as fuck with your best friend and then proceeding to cry over the shit head guys we deal with?
That moment when your fucking in an airport bathroom and forget to lock the door. That poor man...scarred forever...
Of course I have a pirate flag
I don't want to go back to the suburbs. Being drunk in public isn't ok and theres too many children. Don't make me.
Free stuff before I even put his balls in my mouth like wow great start
Nothing showshows the government the middle finger more than spending your tax refund on drugs
Nothing says depression like laying in your bed stoned, naked, and eating a cupcake
What part of “the stripper has a gun, we need to leave” is confusing you? She’s drunk, she’s fucking crazy and NOW SHE’S PACKING HEAT!
Randomize
