i fell asleep last night with fifteen animal crackers in my mouth. rock bottom dude.
I'm getting drunk watching the disney channel. Is this a main reason why we aren't together anymore?
So apparently vaginal secretions are not covered under water damage insurance for my cell phone
You kept yelling that her vagina looked like a hatchet wound.
He was singing Will Smith Just the Two of Us to his burrito. That high.
officially christened the dorm room by sucking my spilled drink off the floor. tastes like homee
she made sit in a corner, drink nothing but water and told me she was worried about me because i picked up an irish guy at a taxi rank. says the girl who invented tequila night and fucked a guy in a park across the street from a sweet sixteenth.
You know how I got mad at him for making out with his formal date? Apparently I fucked mine. I'm guessing any exclusivity is out of the question.
He just tagged everyone he's slept with this year in a 'memories of 2011' tweet
He always takes home straight guys. He plays One Night Stand on Ledgendary Mode
FOund a bunch of old fireworks spring cleaning.
Who is our new insurance provider?
There's a guy in a life size dick costume, and two guys with white shirts that are each half if a pair of breasts in a red bra lol. They came separate but when they saw each other there was some titty fucking in the street, it's only 11
We were banging then all I remember is coming down hard and smashing my top teeth off his forehead. I just rolled off and tapped out. Done-zo
If you can handle my post-party look you da real MVP
I'm debating a nap but also debating breaking into the liquor cabinet
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