My ? Is...... Would it be sweet or creepy to take a girl on a first date to chigago?
creepy.
i just noticed 4 flies in my red wine. i drank them.
Stop. You don't mean that. Tequila might mean that. But you don't mean that.
She is wearing lilly and pearls while drinking natty from a monogrammed coozie. If that isn't a sorosititue I don't know what is
It was honestly like finding a clitoris in a haystack.
All I remember is apologizing to his sister for being a bad influence while I was throwing up into a big gulp cup.
I'm having a staring contest with a raccoon.
Where the hell are you
He's winning.
So I vaguely remember making out with you this morning, I think you were on a date?
Im at target. Idk why I'm buying condoms AND a tutu for my cat. No one who dresses their cat up has ever gotten laid.
i had a tequila and emotion induced one night stand with a random stranger. senior year: infinity me: 0.
He started a convo with me by saying that we went to high school together and then recommended I try meth.
I had to rename my dildo. I met a little kid who named his teddy bear the same name. It just felt wrong.
Dude I used amphetamines responsibly today though. I snorted one in the am for work and then chewed one in the pm for other work. I'm an adult.
we can no longer cook chicken in the house. his name is herbert, we are keeping him and can not eat his people in front of him.
Thank god you don't know my other address I'm safe for now
Awww you know you would like it if I found u
Randomize
