she took out her dip, threw up, and put it back in. it was like a scene from Nick and Nora's trip to the trailer park.
When we ran out of red solo cups we switched to Starbucks cups for beer pong... Who doesn't want to live in Seattle?
Santa Clause just drove by me on a fire truck. Epic night begins.
You'll be proud of me
Who did you not have sex with
Damn it...you know me too well
I cant believe Lindsay Lohan feels like this every day
This guy at the party just introduced himself to me as "the guy who sat behind you on a plane last year"
It's like the only way I know how to apologize is by giving a blow job.
whatever a "slut portfolio" is, mine is apparently almost complete
Someone just told me I have an ass that could kill small children .... Don't know how to take that one
The girls danced. I drank. Then I danced cause I was drunk. Then I ripped tim's shirt off cause I'm awesome.
I do remember telling her that I was about to pass out soon and then hiding my pants under my bed so she couldn't take my wallet even drunk I'm thinking ahead
He's so urbane and sleek; so aesthetically chiseled, having endless features to offer me whenever I desire.
Are you fucking a guy or a condo building?
So is it safe to say that my only objective from last night is to finish this entire jar of peanut butter?
THIS IS EXACTLY WHY YOU SHOULDA FUCKED BEFORE YOU MADE HIM YOUR BOYFRIEND, CURVED DICKS ARE NOT OK
how does that bad decision feel?
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