I have the sudden urge to buy a Snuggie and wear it to the grocery store.
i'm saving my butt for my wedding night
you're in nursing school, now tell me what to do about a burned clit.
so apparently I plead the 5th to every question they asked me when they put me under the conscious sedation to set my broken wrist
high. he's playing 'oops i did it again' on the ukelele. is this real life?
I know he gets bloody noses a lot...so that explains all the blood...but I'd say the condoms are definitely from a penis.
Remember when I booked a hotel room for next sat? Nneither do I.
Semen is not good for contacts.
You claimed your dick was a divining rod, spun in a circle 3 times and walked into the bar you stopped in front of...consequently there was a bikini shoot going on
Just remembered when I bought that round of shots I told the girls to "get their whore friend" who was making out with her bf instead of drinking. I don't know why they stayed.
I hear youre working today. To keep you entertained, ive compiled a list of condiments that my dick has NOT been slathered in since last Friday: Relish, and raspberry jam. That's right.
I worked hard to give you that boner. No one else should get to enjoy it!
How dare you question the sanctity of Chocolate-and-Porn day
Uhh dog found a condom. FYI its on the table by couch please dispose of it. No reply Necessary
I am thankful for thumbs.
Because without thumbs, we would be dolphins.
Land dolphins.
Randomize
