Help i just walked in on mom blowing dad
we've been dating more than a month and i just realized there's no hair on his chest..
you've had sex with him. you must've seen him naked.
nah, i feel like naked sex would be getting too serious for us..
If I die I have 2 requests one a viking funeral prye and 2 I want you to take over my facebook and haunt the fuck out of everyone
Well I turned her sobriety into my own personal drinking game
College freshman give noticeably better blowjobs by the 5th week of the semester.
i turned my shower on this morning and passionfruit pulp came out. how did you even do that?
You were telling the cab driver that you believe in him and just to follow his dreams
Come over. I'll eat you out and we'll make bacon.
best text I've received ever.
My middle name is suave and my vagina shoots rainbows, what else would you expect?
I have cum and leaves all over me. Don't ask questions.
SOMEONE WITH THE TWITTER HANDLE "METHLAB" FAVORITED THAT PICTURE
Word my sister pulled through for me and brought vodka shooters for the plane. its about to be a sloppy 4 hours
I just need some of your time and all of your body.
We're meant to be. Apparently God wants me to get dicked down pretty good too so I'm not complaining about destiny
The air tonight was full of shame when we saw each other.
Well if u wouldn't have had sex on the front porch last night I think that could have been avoided.
Randomize
