but it happened after you broke up with me and before we made up.
You know your from las vegas when the girl on the stage in the strip club was in my US gov class senior year
I'd steal beers with my tail. If I were a monkey.
dude last night I threw my weed into my back yard. there is now a foot of snow. after an hour I found my weed. if I put that effort into school, i'd have a 4.0.
I wish i had a shirt that said, "I know what you're thinking and it's not herpes on my face"
she just came into my room, drunkenly shoved six dollars into my bra and told me to spend it on chicken wings.
He was able to grab love handles during doggy style... I know we said spring break mexico diet starts next week but i think we need to start tomorrow.
Also there's a dick sized hole in my tights...should I be worried?
I think Vodka is my favorite. Everything else ties for second.
Kripsy Kremes at our place, bring your own coffee. And your own donuts because these ones are ours.
Those drunk pictures you took of me? My mom is showing those to my grandparents.
I appreciate having someone to objectively critique my dick pics.
He started yelling terms of endearment at a cheese sandwich. Then he tried to hump it.
If I die write a nice eulogy and bury me with my star wars bobbleheads
She said "Im going to hug you" tried to give me a hickey then said her life sucks and started to cry.
Randomize
