out of nowhere you said let us see your boobs, then proceeded to pull my shirt down.
i gets down
I just hemmed my dress for halloween, never felt more like a man
The football player sitting in front of me just googled himself. Only 4 articles came up. That's why he plays at Utah State.
My last memory involves me naked in a mens's bathroom stall. I really hope my date was with me.
sorry for the blank pocket text. My penis obviously has nothing to say to you.
congratulations to me i think I am on the road to legitimate alcoholism
cool. same. I'm in class drinking
NOT OKAY
sorry for partying
THATS NOT PARTYING THATS DRINKING IN CLASS
Do you have any pics of the gummy penis incident?
Cat. Why do you sit on things I need to use.
Because it is cat.
Haha. Last winter I went through this phase where id go to the bars with my own giant goblet and demand to be served white wine and red bull hah
We walked in and someone handed her an unopened bottle of jack with her name on it. She's like a drunken celebrity.
How long have I been using my debit card as a coaster?
I'm sitting next to the guy that peed in our drying machine
How do you get the "hangs out with drunk assholes" insurance
Just calling to thank you for not dying. I love you.
Spencer just told me I got home and was opening beers with my teeth and trying to make pot butter
Randomize
