Do you remember getting into a Delorean last night?
Never underestimate the healing power of vomiting and a bath.
Jus posted an album so big that it takes my manhood into question
Let's put it this way, it's 9am and that box of wine looks like the cure
I miss waking up, opening the closet downstairs, and finding you inside passed out.
he said something along the lines of "fish can smell fear"
Are we talking about who knows if I'll get naked pictures of you with a broadsword or who knows if I'll be surprised?
My dick can't jump between your dick and her mouth, man. It's impossible, I think.
The trick will be getting hammered before we get to the first bar
Challenge accepted
IT ISN'T. I'M A LITTLE HIGH.
YOU'RE ALWAYS A LITTLE HIGH.
NO. IT'S RARE THAT I'M A LITTLE HIGH. I'M ALWAYS HIGH AS FUCK. THERE'S A DIFFERENCE.
I just remembered that i did pull ups in a bikini on the porch of Red Lobster last night. someone needs to stage an intervention
Urgent. Do not ignore. What does this "=$" shit mean. Quality foreign dick is at stake here
I can't believe I forgot to wish you a happy 13 week-iversary of the time you raw-dogged a rando. Only two days late, so it still counts. And since your 14 weeks is coming up, you should know that at 14 weeks your baby can squint, frown, grimace, pee, and possibly suck his/her/their/zir thumb!
You know you are high when you are so glad it wasn't your freshly buttered raisin bread that fell on your foot. It was your $400 Ipod
I knocked over his glass and he yelled "Oh no the boxed wine!" and slurped it off the coffee table. Then he showed me how to mix maple syrup, Jameson, and coffee. My family is better than your family.
Randomize
