i am a beautiful darrk chocolate womann
honey you're def caucasian
i am a beautiful white cholcllate woman.... Z
you kept trying to make scrambled eggs with 3 hardboiled ones.
The size of her hoop earrings are directly related to how much of a slut she is.
Hahaha. I am actually really tight for having a kid. Like really really tight.
watching hot guy on train scrolling with his blackberry's track ball... o to be that track ball...
I was born in the year of the cock... How fitting.
Dont be alarmed when you find the maintenance guy passed out on your couch. I didn't to explain why I was there so I offered him a drink, I dont know what happened after that.....
wine pong. its mother daughter day and i think she's mad. I smell like jager
I woke up with a stapler in my ass. Don't even complain to me.
Apparently last night I yelled "the cops were called on a mother fucker and that mother fucker is me." And then proceeded to exorcise a sandwitch.
I woke up with gum stuck to my nipple piercings this morning.. So there's that.
I just realized that you're going to be drunk for daylight savings time again. Godspeed.
She said my mask was creepy, took it off with her teeth, and proceeded to bite my neck. I love vampires.
I purposely left my thong and accidentally left my ethics book, hairspray and most of my dignity.
you walked 30 min all the way back to the dorms at 2am?
i was more bummed that i dropped all my skittles.
Randomize