So it wasn't until I came that he pointed out the glow in the dark plastic star still stuck to my forehead. Fun times.
good luck with ur interview. Just show them your confidence and don't make that sucking snot noise. Really don't. Praying for you, love mom
win or lose for butler, i'm still masturbating to brad stevens tonight
there are two kinds of girls in this world: my mom, and sluts.
alcohol. turning childhood friends into awkward hookups since the dawn of civilization.
we managed to turn Dream Phone into a drinking game. don't hate.
You're getting a blowjob this afternoon. This has been your morning public service announcement.
I had to brake up with him.
In my experience drinking helps.
You dont want to know why?
Not really. I want to drink.
My goal of the day is to not shit myself. That's it. Setting the bar real low
I'm gonna go out on a limb and say it had something to do with pool sex.
That idiot. I'll see him on campus and he'll try and touch me like we're friends or some shit. 1.you're ugly 2. You dropped the blunt in the pool
You were typing for me while I was hyperventilating into a paper bag on the floor.
I walked in on a circlejerk after punching that guy out. Instant karma.
I just got dumped by my fuck buddy. Now I have to have sex with my husband.
As you were falling you yelled out, "save my burrito!" Priorities
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