i just wanna soil my oats bro
Going to spend my cab money on more shots and just take the ambulance home
Theres this fat girl in desperate need of the proactive factory in my class and as i watch her shovel food in her face I am struggling to not only keep down my meager lunch but also to stay straight. Eliza Dushku couldnt even get my flacid dick to move
we are watching a video on ethics because somebody wrote "butt sex" on the attendance sign in sheet
Once two people had broken bones it had become a bulk hospital trip so we took the party bus
You can do it. What doesn't kill us just drives us to drink
5am update: in a toga seeing triple made out with both sexes
It's been so long that I've occasionally forgotten I own a vagina
I told her I didn't have a condom. She then sized me with her thumb and finger and tossed me a large. Then I asked her to marry me.
I told her shower beers are even better when you have someone in there with you and she said she's been looking for a new drinking buddy. It's a goooooo
You said you brought chipotle into a movie and I asked you to marry me and you said yes
Apparently fireball doesn't mix well with my no carb diet
just bought myself a "your about to get violated in every way so you deserve this chipotle" steak bowl.
Should I apologize for the loud sex I had in his living room? Because I'm not going to.
Definitely not.
I'm worried my dog collar isn't going to come in time. I might be trying on dog collars at PetSmart next week. That could get awkward.
Randomize
