Dude, my boy c***** and I hooked up with Asian sisters last night in the same room
Then I put on blue by Eiffel 65 and security showed up and yelled at us for being too loud. Also, they stopped fucking because no one can fuck to eiffel 65
It's underwear night and I am literally in the bar wearing nothing but underwear and flip flops.
We have video of him nailing the sex doll to my wall and putting all the monopoly pieces in her nose
i yelled at him for a little and we ended up fucking in a random tennis court.
Just found out my ex boss was running a whore house in the bar. Time to remove her as a reference?
I peed in a 7/11 last night. Like literally pretended I pretended I was shopping, looked around, and peed on boxes in the corner. No more tequila
This is like the best thing that's ever happened to us. We're getting paid to sit around get high and eat. There is a Jesus
she sent me a picture of dilf asleep in bed with the caption "what happened last night?"
you told the taxi driver your yeast infection was so bad you wanted to F a popsicle
In tonight's episode of Travis' Fucked up Sex Life, Travis breaks into a building at Tulane to have sex with an attractive Asian man.
Sex in a hot air balloon, top that one!
He brought me Plan B in the snowstorm.
A+ 👏🏼
If you come home to me in lingerie and you start vacuuming...I need to reevaluate my priorities
The date did not go well. Turns out I once set her brother on fire.
Oh my god my purse is too heavy for me to dance with boys cause it has too many stolen sink faucets in it
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