I'm towing my little brother down the road on a sixty year old tractor, we're taking up the whole highway, and no one cares. I love South Dakota.
Last night was so much fun. i kept trying to lick everyone
I was debating whether her purse was real then I saw her puke in it.
I'm in my winter jacket and nothing else. very drunk. bring bitches.
These 5 days benders will be the death of me. Just living and breathing is a struggle right now.
I keep having to talk dad out of putting tequila in the milkshakes.
Found trail of ibuprofen on ground. I'm like the intervention version of e.t.
I think I should start a match.com profile and put "robe lounging" as my only hobby
You were throwing cups at people in the basement, yelling at them to get out of your swamp.
Monday afternoon and I'm still hungover from Valentine's Day. I think I'm winning at the single life.
Definitely the only person to buy 2 handles a 2 bottles of champagne & 3 thirties while wearing a fanny pack
We took three cabs to get home, the first one dropped us off a block away, so we went back to the hotel and tried again
He spent ten minutes post bj, limp cock still out, in shock repeating 'best blow job ever'. So yes, yelling I am the penis queen out the car window was justified.
Idk if I want to put a bra on
But I think I successfully seduced her with my alias.
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