he got up in front of the whole lecture hall and yelled that Charlie Brown's Christmas tree was his favorite book in the history of the universe. then he stumbled out the fire exit setting the alarm off. I could've jumped him right then and there.
At least my fat-chick-ratio has not been that bad this semester ...
Ice cream: Good. Fraternity: Good. Eating ice cream off a Skid Row bum's ass crack in order to get into a Fraternity: Homoerotic at best. I quit.
I dont think that yelling at the medic "Christmas is gone, fuck off santa" was the best idea when you couldnt feel your legs.
Fuckers are stealing our internet and making my porn stream slowly so I changed the password for VanceRefrigeration to RyansaCunt. No spaces but capitalization.
his version of basketball was throwing hot sauce packets down my cleavage at taco bell at 2 am with his buddy.the cashier kept score
You were dancing with his friend and you stopped to literally push the girl he was dancing with out of the way to make out with him
I felt that there wouldn't be enough planB and forgiveness to go around
If you die first, I'm going to sleep with a pallbearer at your funeral.
Chipotle. Because when you've had diarrhea for 6 days why not just make it 7
This late night dumpster diving sesh is making my quads cramp up
Whatever I'm getting wasted, my costume's bomb, and there's a good chance I'm getting laid. Not letting stupidity ruin my night!
you made a mix containing mostly whiskey. then you took a sip, gagged and yelled "perfect!"
Also my face is like def lowkey made of silly putty
The laundromat is nothing like In the pornos
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