All I'm saying, is that being compared to a Muppet is not the end of the world.
she gave him a mild concussion from throwing him against the wall in an attempt to dance with him. gotta love monday nights at the sandbar.
i literally in my bathroom watching tv from across the hall while trying not to fall asleep with my dog keeping my feet warm. wednesday's shouldnt be like this
NEWS FLASH: A bottle of wine can fit into a taco bell cup.
Are my feet made of real feet?
Whatevss it will be funn .. Hopefully no one projectile vomits on the wall again.. Its kinda become a tradition though
Nothing like puking into an empty cooler at a red light on the way to get plan b.
Totally passed out on the dealers bed after paying him all in ones so no, i dont think i'll be getting a discount soon.
Will i get arrested If i steal the salvatiion arny guys bell for ringing it to close to my hangover
So, I'm about to take my pants off in the Walmart parking lot, when am old lady parks next to me. I'm all the way in the back next to the semis. What the hell?
Got paid 100 bucks to babysit a kid for five hours while hungover. I slept the whole time and threw up twice. Yes 100 bucks.
Do I get bonus points if I get lockjaw after a cosmic blowjob?
Please tell me I didn't send you a dick pic in the middle of Peter Pan..
I can feel your judgement through the phone
I'm so festive that I used my jack o lantern bucket as a just in case barf bin
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