My mind says no, but my body says yes.
What does your body say about chlamydia?
It smelt so bad when i tried biting off her underwear that i didn't want to touch with my mouth
Fiestas. Its like a classier verson of mardi gras.
Contrary to what peaches says, you can't fuck the pain away. Full story later. Have a good morning, buddy.
I really shouldn't have to apologize. It was your own damn fault for opening a tab at the bar and telling me about it.
I really want to go out tonight but part of me wants to be able to honestly tell the judge tomorow that I didn't
I vaguely remember trying to exfoliate my face with your leg hair. Sorry about that.
I believe I won the Golden Vodka Bottle of sadness last night for crying while being party boyed.
some kid lit a j in the bar tonight. i was in awe of both his boldness and the severe beatdown he received moments later
We started a fund for a baby in a wine glass, I think we're pretty responsible.
I should be rewarded with oreos for not turning into a raging cunt.
Too bad Amazon Prime wouldn't get the wine bra flask to you in time. Concealed alcohol and huge tits? Win-win.
New rule. If he's too busy to put the "H" in "what" then I'm too busy to put his D in me.
Honestly it was like 3 AM and I only agreed to go to the strip club because I wanted chicken tenders
Go have sex with him right now! Drunk sex is the best sex.
I know but these gold fish are so much better
Randomize
