How bad was it?
You ran around telling everyone that you were going to click them to death on google earth
I just gave my whole company pinkeye. How's that for a summer intern's lasting impression? BOOYAHH
the best part about being a teacher is there are always 20 little kids around me to blame my farts on
its simple. when his lips are on my clitoris i want to marry him. when they are speaking i want to kill him.
I mean, I know they're ugly, but I cant turn down a birthday threesome.
Shoot me. I need tickles, a drink, sushi and a handy
Order is debatable
it wasnt even considered partying. it was like "ok, who can get the most shitfaced and not pass out"
MY roomie made me a chinese name- it's supposed to mean 'the girl of a thousand sins.'
I can't drink with the moms anymore. All they talk about is lactating.
Well, somebody (me) put on reindeer antlers, crawled around on the floor, and meowed at people... So yeah, I'd say it was "one of those nights"
Also, yes, I look pretty rough. But my ovaries fought back this morning so getting dressed decently was not a priority.
You haven't lived until you've snorted coke from a Pharaoh's hand baby
this is the last time i am going to a 7am booty call
Why is there a slipper full of piss in my bedroom?
I'm somewhere between crying and wanting to orgasm.
Randomize
