Kris Allen: Jason Mraz mixed with John Mayer and a splash of orgasmmm
i felt like cinderella. except at midnight i turned back into a whore.
I wonder why dictionaries dont have indexes to help find the words easier.
My recently uploaded pictures to facebook: Me partying on Beale St. with a single girl on each arm. Ex's recently upload pictures: Several pictures of cats. I win.
Just got a script for 120 vicodin with 6 refills. I feel like michael jackson.
I could make treat bags
I don't think its a good idea if I moon a whole bar again
you dragged me by my throat over to the shots. this is a new level of alcoholism..
Managed to discreetly puke out of a moving streetcar window, in front of no less than a dozen people. Nobody saw/said anything. I feel like a legit local now.
I'm in the sex attic, crying, eating french toast and taco
And fyi howling is not an acceptable form of communication.
I've decided I'm going to drink again. More. Day drinking. Night drinking. Everything. It's the responsible thing to do since I'm not pregnant
I have never appreciated strippers so much. Ma'am, you are an artist
Trust me, dating 38 and 20 year old dudes at the same time is the best. Money plus all of the sex. Finally figured out this relationship thing.
Actually going to jail after your wedding is NOT part of the plan.
Um so I might have accidentally on accident maybe blew up the bottom half of your truck...
Randomize
