well recently, every guy I have hooked up with has been economy sized
Some broad at the bar just asked me how much money I make. I don't know whats worse, the question or the answer.
If the pens lose tonight I'm gonna drive to Detroit and burn 8 mile to the ground.
Actually I may do that regardless. Probably get my own holiday.
Just found a hundred dollar bill on the ground. Hope you're looking to drink tonight
At least you weren't that one girl in the bar that was letting everyone draw on her in sharpie. Worst decision I've ever witnessed.
Someone wrote Kyle's bitch on me too. I dont even know who Kyle is.
All I remember is him trying to go down on me, but I guess I was too busy making out with his brother
i'm only riding in the trunk because they put the case of beer back here..
I wasn't vocally whispering "she wants to bite your dick off" about that kirsten girl was I?
When and where the fuck did we get a beach ball??
YOU DESERVE A GUY WITH A NORMAL DICK DONT SETTLE FOR ANYTHING LESS
He smacked my ass so hard my ass cheek looks like Wilson from Cast Away
The sex was so boring I heard the people having sex next door and I wanted to stop just to listen
Your vagina needs to teach my vagina its ways.
DETAILS
long story
just tell me the parts i wanna hear
weed, brooklyn, rough sex.
Randomize
