I haven't been able to trust a girl since spanks came out
just bought a $25 eighth from a chick who has a kid. i'm helping my community out right?
I'm still reeling over the fact that you beat us all at Risk while you were flat on your ass drunk and falling asleep on South America.
they're making a venn diagram comparing gummi bears against gummi worms...is this what i have to sit thru to get free weed????
Charging the asians next door to us $5 a page to print their final papers because theirs broke. Bars close in 2 hours, lets go
Btw...pregnancy boobs are amazing. I don't recommend pregnancy in general but the boobs are good.
U can find me on my couch hungover eatin tuna evaluating my life
Remember those girls from the bar? The tall and short blondes?
Is this a story I am going to hate you for?
He picked up a chick with a line about the price of used cars in Sri Lanka and developing economies. Step it up.
I just duct taped myself into my costume. I apologize in advance if you find me in a compromised position involving duct tape and underwear when you get home tonight
Henceforth: booty calls will now be referred to as "deliveries of anatomy". That is all.
I'm trying to blow this guy down here can you please get my husband out of the house.
I have to choose between charging my phone or my vibrator. This is bullshit.
I really love you. Like, more than tequila...& we both know that's my favorite.
If you left your bike out in front, I just watched some dude steal it.
Randomize
