I cant wait to get the disapproving look from this elderly black lady...
Alcohol only hurts me because he loves me.
I just saw a guy masturbating vigorously at the bus stop across from del taco at 2:30am...im pretty sure he wasn't even homeless
I dont think that drinking by ourselves on a saturday night counts as being "fun alcoholics"
Yeah I hope so. Definately just saw two freshmen in very authentic togas and cotton ball beards. This new class is stepping it up.
maybe i'll make good life choices and keep my legs closed. periodically txt me friday and saturday night saying "baby carrot round 2" that should stop me.
I can't believe all the places I got into shoeless last night. Apparently no one will say no to a girl covered in paint with a ripped shirt
Come get me...we were walking home and she kept yelling "people need to get run over more!" then she just sat down in the middle of the street saying "it just feels right."
Good news: I actually puked in my bathroom, the vomit from the living room was actually from someone else.
That's horrible but hilarious
I'm going to miss college.
so i ran into nick. i may be more gay than anticipated
That's fine. It's not illegal to bring ham into a museum.
I thought I would be a proper lady and put my spare panties in a ziplock
Well, I guess you are not meant to have this fucking picture of an adorable baby duck.
He took off all my clothes, fingered me, than said "would you be more comfortable if I was naked too?"
That’s the third time this month he’s hooked up with a girl by telling her it’s his bachelor party, and he’s not even dating a chick let alone engaged.
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