How's tricks little girl?
Trix are for kids, old man.
He asked to "fluff my boner.."
You left a skid on my bar stool!!!!
Oops! Sorry about getting stool on your stool!
I wonder why dictionaries dont have indexes to help find the words easier.
I got a 69.7 in accounting. I have this whole doing the bare minimum down to a science
we are watching a video on ethics because somebody wrote "butt sex" on the attendance sign in sheet
Well he has that kind of carefree attitude that comes from a big penis
If you hook up with a kid and the next day he breaks up with his girlfriend, those can be seen as two completely unrelated incidents right?!
I'm driving while wearing hulk hands
just peed on my shirt somehow, im calling it a day
I guess she was just worried I'd end up sleeping with you again
It's not too late to disappoint her you know...
Came home plastered at 8am. Roommate had hot glued all the ashtrays and various items to their surfaces. Couldn't handle it. Went back to the bar.
You kept hiding under tables and grabbing people's legs and shouting SHARK ATTACK.
ditto.
about cumming, not toast
I called you last night? What did I say??
That you love me forever and that I'm the greatest in the world now mohammed ali is dead...
Randomize
