I'm pretty sure that he just gave me the ginger disease
I just saw a hobo shake a payphone until it spat out a bunch of quarters. what a champ.
Pride was great cause we really can now appreciate how far we've come as gay people!
Doll, if you're still fucking strangers behind the WeHo Sonic while high on E then we've come as far as 2003...
You better get here soon. I'm about to spend $30 on a cactus online
U shoulda just taken her to a stall and banged her and let me watch the game. Some friend u r.
I really want to title the album "I want to make sex with your face" but I also want a job someday. Temptations, temptations.
you should be back in the room by now but just so you know. you passed out at the black jack table and they wheel chaired you out. strip club in about 45 minutes. game face bro.
Almost there.
define "almost". like I have enough time to watch a youtube video or oh shit, put on some goddamn pants because they're in the driveway.
If we can put a man on the moon, I'm sure we can turn a pringles can into a bong.
i'm hungover but need to study so i had a vodka orange juice, three ibuprofen and an adderall for breakfast. what up med school
Martha Stewart has had a one night stand and is unsure if she's had a threesome. I no longer feel slutty.
Sometimes self-care is taking a shot of vodka and moving on.
I can't be a daydrinker without you. It just doesn't work.
I love you too.
That was the first time ive ever slept with a girl with a q in her name
My ex's sister asked me to be her date to Thanksgiving. Should I go?
Threesome!
Randomize
