she is unbelievable! ever pee on a girl?
not while she was awake
Desperate + desperate does not equal a fun night.
It had been so long since my last time that it was easily a double helping of stomach pancakes. I think she was mildly impressed.
Instead of centeral air we are getting a margaritaville machine. Thought you would enjoy our logic
Between cock and motorcycle I'm glad I don't have to sit at work tomorrow
a kid who worked there came up to me and let me know you were sitting in the bathroom sink. he said it was fine, so i just kept checking on you.
It seems to me that once you begin comparing Jesus to hercules and calling him a super pimp you should put the wine away...
she could've warned me his penis was curved
ya i dont think she expected you to get with her boyfriend.
i spent an hour trying to convince my psychiatrist that the fact that i showed up for my appointment drunk was progress, and she does not agree
Just described your amazing cock to a complete stranger. I am officially the worst wingman (chick) ever.
Just bought a colored water bottle so my classmates can be so judgemental when I bring beer to class.
So yeah, turns out I enjoy vaguely public group sex. Who knew?
I have vodka, fruit gushers, and health insurance. Let's party.
It was weird, it was like my heart got a boner. Is this being an adult?
The only good thing about being back at work is supply room boom boom with my office husband
Randomize
