your room smells of hookers.
And success
well when i got there she was attempting to stick the cat in her mouth.. so maybe you should go check on her
woke up with food on the counter from chipotle, taco bell, green cactus, and on the border take out. explain?
you were trying to get this Spanish chick to sleep with you. you were showing her how much you "loved her native food."
i am about to cut my stepbrother's hair into a mohawk with the same clippers i use to trim my pubes. god is so on my side today.
It feels like Jesse James cheated on America.
I said make yourselves at home, not to put a used condom on my ceiling fan.
Nope, I'm sticking to passive aggressive punishments. Like mismatching his socks and cumming on his leather couch. OCD is so wonderful.
She took a crow from her moms Halloween decorations, taped it to her shoulder, went to the bar and made the guys buy a drinks for both her and the crow.
I remember it because it was right after the sadness and right before the sluttiness. The calm before the storm if you will
I could just tape a camera with a live feed to my head & you could check in on me from time to time
I still have your make up all over the inside of my thighs from the face sitting. Free tonight?
Vodka Vensday. With a Russian accent... It counts.
I wanna snuggle with you as we feed each other chipotle burrito bowls and that's just where I'm at right now
Your first mistake was thinking that you could get through the day without drinking a single bottle of alcohol. Your second mistake was wearing shark boxers.
We can have bacon on the roof while tanning
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