I want to come over to your house, give you money for liquor, fuck you, and then kick it untill I have to go home. Was that blatent enough for you?
so the guy behind me in court for my DUI hearing got a DUI on a lawnmower at 1AM...he is my new hero
i love how people use prayer to talk shit about eachother in a 'holy' manner.
I just saw a license plate that said "Guidete" at college. This proves the world is officially ending in 2012
you're asking me why i keep burn ointment in my purse.... do you really want to know the answer to that question?
I like literally had a visual image of his penis going into your soul
The trick will be getting hammered before we get to the first bar
Challenge accepted
Dude, if I don't end up wearing a banana suit in Milwaukee, I will consider that trip a complete failure.
Have you seen our bachelor? He's MIA. Last seen being led to some hookers by Kanye look-a-like.
And the prospective student I was showing around had to take care of me.
Well, I just bought plan b with the tips I made from the job that I slept with my manager. So yeah, that's my life. How's yours?
I told myself I'd stop after three shots of fireball. Haha HA hA.
Hooked up with a 20 year old. Only reason I did was cos I thought he was 18
Ok here's the plan: birth control, KFC, handcuffs.
It's a draw. You need to settle it in Smash, Soul Calibur, and/or rock-paper-scissors, the last of which Steve claims is bullshit.
Randomize
