taking a shot every time they compare curling to a real sport
I have 250 contacts there has to be someone sober to take me to taco bell
I forget the details, but I'm told that I drunkenly stalked him around floor yelling obscure Jewish laws at him
all of the sudden, the other guy at the bar who was celebrating his birthday got a super inspired look on his face and then screamed at me ''our parents fucked on the same day!''
Just finished off a roll of paper towels. Celebration blunt?
I don't understand but I'll be there in 5
I'm not leaving bed today. And i guess my drunken ass last night hit my roommate in the face with a tiki torch then proceeded to cry while carrying around a picture of he who must not being name. I'm a piece of work.
I just debated creating a mirror system so I could play Batman while in the bathroom. I think I need help.
I already knew that. But I also don't agree with stifling creativity.
My drunk neighbor is arguing with a goose in his yard. This was the highlight of my day.
I cant believe im wasting my plan b experience on this guy. I should have saved it for someone special.
If 26 stitches didn't sober her up, nothing will.
Also, my aunt grabbed my phone and downloaded the scriptures. Apparently I need Jesus.
also, am i correct in guessing that advertising the size of my hypothetical penis is a turnoff to him?
You told us that you were going to become a 'new man' and threw your tv set out of a window.
Finally fucked my buddy's mom!! We are both ten years older and for her it really shows but i hit it!!
she said she was so hungover this morning in a way that sounded like she was apologizing for thinking she was attracted to me last night...
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