I just got wrote up for "repeatedly smelling like alcohol"
That was long passed due.
I just saw a pair of panties stretched over a fire hydrant on campus... I need to get the fuck out of this town
i was getting a blow-job tonight in the mens bathroom of a bar and the bouncer comes in and says "bro i don't mean to cock block but you cant do that here."
I went to class with the sex aroma on me. The hot sun doesn't help much.
He called the drink "The Annexation of Puerto Rico". He wouldn't tell us whats in it but said that we should all fear for our lives. Let's do this.
What did he say? I couldn't hear him over the sound of how awesome his beard is.
Repeat. Dildo on the ceiling, confiscated potato shooter, and bottle of yegger. Repeat. Ceiling dildo and yegger.
Oh thank Jesus fuck for my shitty infertile womb. Crisis averted
Just got outta the drunk tank! Happy 21st birthday!
Sneaking the vodka in was the easy part.. listening to medley of puking in the porta pottys was not
it was like teleporting. everytime i opened my eyes, i was somewhere different... usually the floor.
You were sitting in a chair and you said "I just feel like a little fishy, floooooating through the ocean, so pretty"
His mom said he was in the ER and asked for prayers and positive thoughts. Apparently, me wishing the clap on him is not what she had in mind.
Be safe. If you have intercourse with a boy use so many condoms this his penis is no longer recognizable.
I wanna trust fall face first on a penis.
Randomize
