dude beer before liquor = i want to shoot myself in the face
i can't put facebook on my resume under hobbies.
laughing at 16 and pregnant while fucking w/o a condom....
i always knew you were classy
Last night he tried to put me in their garbage can and then sprayed me with a fire extinguisher in their kitchen...that house is always interesting
Apparently I took one a huge picture off the wall at the bar and was walking around dancing with it..
P.S. I just watched The Muppets. I feel like I just got a sadness enema.
Made dad pull of the highway twice on the way home so I could puke. Yeah i'd say we ended the semester well.
I'm at this kids house trying to figure out if I pissed in his kitchen new years eve. Lmao, stop letting me drink.
i woke up in his neighbors pool house. Not sure how I got here but there is people swimming outside. how do I escape?
just fucking run.
Well am going to a strip club before sun down, I dont think anything good can come from that.
Not as much as my roommate, who is in the middle of one of the pictures throwing a lawn chair at a cop car lol.
I accidentally flashed three cops last night. Stone cold sober.
Eh. Fuck him. He's missing out. I'm legit naked and drinking straight from the bottle of wine.
I don't want to date him...I just want him to cheat on his girlfriend with me.
I don't know what the hell I'm going to do with myself when this is all over. I'll probably just go back to smoking pot and trying to learn italian.
Randomize
