I got oddly confused when she started talking in third person in bed.
I think we should involve a squid next time we fuck.
u kno there is a reason i dont tell mi friends about u
Can you tell me we didn't drink from a fish bowl we found in the bathroom last night? I know it would be a lie; I just need to hear it.
I'm not gonna lie. having my legs shaved for me in the morning was a lovely surprise.
Not enough. Tell the person next to you to give you their drink. I give you permission. And then chug it. Be a hero tonight.
if you spike my cofee one more time im gona fuck you up. im presenting to the mayor in sevven fucking minuets. fuck you and youir fucking bartending classses i am so fuckign fcked
im starting to recognize places in this city by where i have drunkenly peed in public
We stayed up until 4:20 AM. The next thing I remember was waking up at 4 PM, like my internal alarm clock knew.
idk, it started getting weird when they were looking up videos of lesbian giraffes
I'm looking at some sugar baby profiles to get some insight on what we're up against.
Ryan friended me on LinkedIn and it took everything in my power not to endorse him for sexual dysfunction as a skill.
So I'm already mostly naked in a kind of bed but obviously too lazy to take my boots off. It's like January 1st is already here
You were more fun when you didn't have morals.
Lol, yeah it'll be fun,but will it be cereal and dick pics fun?
I thought the dude was just really enjoying his piss but apparently he was jerkin off into the urinal.
Randomize
