Have you finally orgasmed yet?
Not a fireman, but good enough for last night.
Went to my car this morning. Found a waffle from Waffle House in the front seat. No idea how it got there. So hung over I ate it.
it's like a walk of shame rule, you always run into someone who saw you wearing that yesterday
we're tailgating intramural basketball with hard drugs and tequila...and i think the players are taking shrooms
My dry heaving is complicating my ability to speak.
I'm so sick
I would imagine. You did most of your drinking for brazil last night.
That and I think I got food poisoning from sharing nachos with that homeless guy..
Boobs are also good for catching the vodka gummy bears that miss my mouth
My mom just covered me while I peed in the street. I love her. i also love parents weekend.
We got to his house at 7am and two random guys were on the couch shot gunning beers saying we were late for the party
With a butt like mine I'll never have to pay for Netflix again.
250 people in this lecture & my prof asks who already drank green beer this morning& is drunk right now. I WAS THE ONLY ONE TO RAISE MY HAND
never planned on seeing last weekend's one night stand again, much less be on the same plane as him..
stop texting me about your public sex.
says she who narrated getting eaten out in a movie theatre over text to me
this poor kid thinks hes going to have his first time with both of us
Randomize
