I cant believe we actually had a nipple party!
you kept yelling 'bird cage' in between songs and finally the lead singer stopped to ask if you meant 'free bird' and you said 'fuck you, i'm not gay', needless to say you were kindly escorted out
I didn't realize how hung over I was until I rolled over and the world rolled over with me.
he just found out his girl is having a boy. he's probably googling "Ed Hardy diapers" as we speak.
You said you didn't deserve to walk so you started crawling down to your room
Said he had been eating pineapple for a week before our 1st date. Not sure if thankful for his consideration or offended by his assumption.
It took him longer to remove his skinny jeans than it did for him to finish. I didn't even have time to realize it sucked until it was already over.
i was taking a dump when this random girl ran in, puked all over my lap, then passed out on the floor
did you bang her?
seriously?
Bathtub drinking tim. I have no pool so I work with what I have
We boned on a bench in a park, french people were walking by cheering us on. Totally acceptable
I moved my bed to the living room so when a girl walks in she has to decide right away if shes in or out
Just got discharged from the hospital after getting my finger stitched back together don't you dare say you had a worse night than me
Then he kissed my hand sensually and said "you're a Black Queen. Don't let anyone tell you different."
She's walking to the bar while holding a fifth of fireball, talking on the phone and puking like its nothing out of the ordinary
My sister gave me satin sheets. We can fuck on satin sheets.
Randomize
