I have this horrible feeling I'm going to blackout tonight & only be able to say 'wasabi bobby' over & over again.
You kept calling me your small dog last night.
You Were screaming "Im trying to get it in" and "stop cock blocking" while i threw you in the car
My living room is scattered with glow sticks wrappers, sparklers, face paint & beer cans?
It's not as cool looking when the drugs wear off, is it?
i would rather have had this happen at a time when i wasnt tripping out on shrooms
HES DOING PULLUPS BE STILL MY BEATING HEART
It's a fucking menopause festival down here at the strike zone
if the furniture in my bedroom wasn't shape shifting... this would be a different story.
I woke up to my roommate checking my pulse
Exactly best part of my night he took of his shirt and surprise traveler fanny pack
Dude, i just watched a drag queen dropkick a motherfucker. this is a good night.
I just walked out of the side door of the bar to come in the front door so no one would know I've been here drinking before our work meeting.
This wine tastes amazing. It's like a fermented hug.
Do you think they manscape in the zombie apocalypse?
I woke up to find I still had sequins under my tits. I'd say Sunday was a success.
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