You know how I told you I don't have many naked pics? Apparently that changed last night.
she said i was amazing, then i left to room to take the rubber off and came back to find her masturbating with my xbox controller while niko got a call from roman.
how did you get vomit on both your shoulders. I mean think about it.
So i wrote 'don't sex me' on my stomach, so that if we got to a point where my shirt is off - he would know how i really feel, not just the alcohol talking
how did that work out?
Well, all the water washed it off, so we ended up fucking since i didn't have my reminder...
Whales. Broccoli little trees giant. Magic in cat form. I want my loco and juice. Black in shower. Brb remember life.
You know in a few years she's gonna look like her mom. So if you're gonna hit that you better do it while she still looks like somebody else.
Dan I was a mess I made out with a 40 yr old who gave me a wad of cash for Christmas. Like wtf
I woke up to him peeing by our bedroom door. I yelled at him to go to the bathroom and he just kept peeing while he walked there. This is a new low.
Yeah. I made eggs in a microwave. I think that's an accomplishment this week, MOM.
Dude you're fine. You're 5 minutes away from your house and you're eating fig newtons
I just want to return to LA when the weed and dick is plentiful.
Today is going to be a great day. He just brought me a donut on his dick... It's Sticky Dick Donut Day!!!
Btw, remind me to tell you about how I had to cancel my crazy wild sex plans with Will b/c my roommate came back from his trip after a day b/c Canada wouldn't let him in. Fucking cockblock.
Actually that's the whole story. You don't have to remind me.
Woke up in a car, do you own a silver car parked a few miles form the house...hope so
Like when your most normal sex dream is you being a prostitute, you know it's been one long ass dry spell.
Randomize
