I just had to sit down with an 11 year old who threatened to dick slap a girl.
It made me feel like I need a reality show of my life so I could go back and watch the episodes to figure out how I got from the trunk of the car to my neighbors tree house...
And my awkwardness continues. I felt the need to send him a text that said roar. I did it.
if you could put a roof over IU campus it would be the biggest whorehouse in the nation
so it turns out that "condoms galore" does, indeed, come up on your bank statement
The "puke-towel" started to grow something...
I saw a 60 yr old mans penis last night. Just for the record.
Just think. Tomorrow you'll wake up, shower, and get your brains fucked out. That's your ice cream. Today is your peas and carrots.
It was the best of bangs; it was the worst of bangs.
Remind me to tell you all about the topless girl on the street who attempted to taze me.
You wear a dinosaur suit one time and everyone thinks you're a furry. Fucking hell, man.
I accidentally sent a snap of my puss with the Republican filter... Totally killed his boner
I'm sitting here with a band aid on my labia, this is a first
I had to join a gym to keep up with this 22 yr old
We woke up today with 24 donuts, a tie, two jugs of vodka that we traded an extra sandwich for, and a british boy
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