If that was your dad, he is hot
Something clean will definitely be barfed on tomorrow.
Jerry, you need to find god
is it really weird I just got "suckable tits" in my honesty box and I'm flattered??
I know we didn't hook up because i was still wearing my fanny pack in the morning
Apologies for hacking your facebook and posting that picture of you passed out hooked up to the IV...but we were sat with you on the ER floor for 3 hours, it got boring
The melted ice in my drinks tonight is probably the most water I've had in like 3 days accumulated.
What's worse: not calling my parents in Dallas to make sure they're alright or not taking shelter to masturbate all over my douchebag roommates clothes?
I worry about you.
Captain Morgan didnt let me down when i stand up it feels like the world is trying to hand me rainbows.
We fucked on a kid's slide, my vagina is singing praises of being used
I just woke up to myself peeing the bed. Happy hump day! I'll never get married.
I'm curious as to what my outfit choices drunk me made for this weekend.
GOT MY PERIOD AND AN INTERNSHIP OFFER THIS IS A WONDERFUL DAY
The first thing we did this morning was see if we could see her barf in the prking lot from the roof. We could. It was in 5 spaces.
Tequila ran out around 11 so she let them do body shots of chips and guacamole instead
Randomize
