elementary school lunch room party. everyone brings their own lunch and can trade stuff. all juice is booze.
Having an 'SDSU Mom' sticker is just like say 'Hi, my daughter has an std"
lets put it this way..we'd win on tool academy
I Know I'm the drunk girl in the trunk right now, BUT PLEASE LISTEN TO ME!
I'm watching people hook up tonight who, when they wake up tomorrow, are going to wish they were blind.
I'm going to shower the piss off me now. I feel like I was in an R. Kelly dream.
I guess I was trying to make a cheese sandwich, I had to change my sheets cuz I slept on it and the cheese melted all over me, Dave, and my bed
What vodka is american?
Skyy. I already looked it up for 4th of july.
I literally used, "MY VAGINA IS TOO FANTASTIC FOR HIM TO STAY GAY" as a valid argument for attempting to fuck my gay friend.
When did angry sex become our thing?
well, at the moment I'm sleeping in someone's closet in a buzzlightyear snuggie, so I can't judge,
I've been smoking weed using candles all week and I just found a lighter. This may truly be the happiest moment of my life. It's embarrassing how excited I got
I don't care who you bring as long as they are fun and not a cop
I'm trying to find some better sex background music so his neighbors don't hate us. This is tedious.
After the bar we stopped to Meijer where I found myself singing little mermaid while rubbing a pack of hotdogs on my face..
Randomize
