The bar is so dead the tender gave us free shots for staying. They mixed 2pac and phil collins. That's worth at least three shots.
she just made me lysol my hands in order to touch her tits.
i just witnessed two asians having sex for the first time ten feet away from me..hes having a seizure..what the duck is going on???
this is the second time this week i got a blowjob from a crying girl.
Sexual tension squid is drowning in the sexual tension
I don't know which is worse, the fact that he can say will you fuck me in so many languages or that I'm turned on because of that
As we were about to go at it, his roommates barged in singing jumper by third eye blind. Weirdest almost one night stand ever.
Just sent my cousin to buy me a new bra cause mine is zip tied to a bar in the middle of nowhere Iowa
We're over by the bouncy castles. I'm the one wearing a baby. Bring Twizzlers.
This means I've slept with 2 ppl that live in vans...my life is complete
Can I trade you chipotle for a pregnancy test?
i gotta stop hooking up with people just to get to their dogs
BABE I MISS YOU SO MUCH LIKE THE SADNESS OVERWHELMS BONER ABILITY
It's one of those "I can't stand you but we're stuck in the same hotel room tonight so let's fuck until one of us passes out" kind of nights.
Omg, new summer goal: sex in a bouncy castle.
Randomize
