Don't go all Obama on me. George Bush this decision and just do it. Thinking's for the morning after
"tonights gonna be a goodnight" was blasting at the club while i was screaming "NO ITS NOT" and crying. How do you think it went?
I woke up to a bunch of college seniors jacking off a horse in my face. Geuss who didnt move in time?
I just woke up wearing retainers... they are most definitely not mine
Having sex with her is like doing taxes, Happens once a year and I usually end up paying.
How did currency from Costa Rica make it's way into my wallet...?
I'm really starting to miss his dick. Like so much I'm actually tempted to try and work things out with him again.
Someone shattered a urinal.
Sex last night was mind blowing. your wife is one lucky lady.
I just rolled an Obama blunt and a Romney shame joint for tonight. Vote wisely.
So the contents found in my winter coats this year: coat 1, condom and 10$. Coat 2, condom and 75$ check. Coat 3, 2.05$ and a sunflower seed.
Obviously coat 3 had the best time since you used the condom and all of the money
she came back from her house with A paper cut , a 2liter of sprite with Bacardi , and half a mustache . we're inviting her more ofte
I'm more heavily invested in that tequila than you are
is caitlin alive?
ya she's alive she's watching a movie
ok remind her she drank toilet water then.
My bald co-worker just chugged a literal gallon of coffee. My condolences to his kidneys.
Randomize
