OH MY GOD! I just remembered how we ended our bar time last night: picking up and drinking random drinks that ppl had left. wtf is wrong with us?! that's so ghetto!
No. You're kidding.
I am not. I wish I were. I speak the truth.
Soo....this goes on the list of odd coincidences. My gyno calls me while I'm going at it, leaves me a message. I check it later... thank God I tested negative.
i'm the matthew mcconaghey of this party. i'm too old, and too high.
thank you for a lively/lovely evening :)
should have blown me.
He saw my tits then looked up and yelled thank you jesus as loud as he could
i'm gonna need a rally to restore sobriety after this weekend...
Just found a 7-11 receipt for new years eve at 1:30 am apparently we felt the need to buy three jars of pickles and a gallon of milk does this ring any bells?
College students should never be allowed to have snow days. Never.
Used my jumper cables as a bottle opener last night. Really pleased with my problem solving skills.
If i had 4 hands right now is have booze in 3 of them and my cock in the other all because you went to denver. just sayin.
Topless dodge ball cldnt top that
This is the fourth day in a row I've walked outside in the same pajamas. I think the neighbors have finally given up on judging me.
He compared my ass to "a 13 year old track star's ass." Umm WTF? Is that supposed to be a compliment? And when I questioned boy or girl he said "either."
Just went grocery shopping with a vibrator in my purse and didn't even realize it. This is what Saturdays are made for.
He showed up at my house drunk with a pizza and said he wanted to lazily finger me while I watched supernatural. Who was I to say no?
Randomize
