R and i have drinken 4 bottles od red wine. By ourselfs
I think the recipie for awesome sauce is butter and semen
Walked home this morning with my contacts in a shot glass.
First class.
his cum tasted like old pizza and looked like old milk
Everyone was high fiveing on their a walks of shame home. God im gonna miss college life
as you might have guessed from my lack of texts, the herpes have calmed down.
How do I tell my child he was conceived on a barstool in South Alabama?
I sold weed for gas money to get home. I thought that's what college was for.
I can't wait for the day Google doesn't remind me that I got arrested for having 3 shots called 'frog cum' lined up in front of me.
did you not get the photos of the finger bruises on my ass?
Just come get me. Somewhere there's hobo that's going to want his dumpster back, and I kinda want to be gone when he discovers the vomit.
Check the mailbox while you're out!
I already looked this morning. You go check and see what you won on Ebay after your day drinking spree.
I still can't believe that I ate McDonald's off of my chest in his bed...
Cross faded me is not the classiest.
No not at all haha I wish there was a picture of that
But on the plus side, what he lacked in size he made up for with speed. And grunting.
Something in me snapped and now I’m just googling famous vegans.
Randomize
