the more pounds shes got the more points. bonus points awarded for specialty moves used. aka broken cowboy, tobogan, dutch oven, or brazilian fake out.
That level of neurosis does not find love outside of Grey's Anatomy.
im contemplating emailing my dad and telling him how worthless i am and how sorry i am that he pays for my life...aka my bar tabs.
I can only imagine the horrible things my future wife is doing on spring break right now.
The taxi driver was cool until you left. He then started blasting enya and telling me I look like I need another line.
He ended up walking out of his bedroom and told me to look at the nonexistent fire he was holding in his hand. Im upset I didn't take those shrooms.
Will that be creepy to wake him up at midnight with my tongue all over his body??
She waited 7 months to break out her comicon costumes. I was only mad it took her so long. I fucked an elf last night and strawberry shortcake the night before!
Im calling you paparazzi cause of all the dick pics you take of your one night stands ps loved the panoramic one!
Other than my penis smelling like an ashtray, it went really well.
She had her pubic hair down there shaved into the superman s............. Best one night stand ever.
I'm putting his belongings the garage sale so he can buy his own stuff back. # divorced life. Thanks for cheating on me you tone deaf dick biscuit that'll be $20. Haha.
is it bad that there is a girl in my bed right now and the only thing i can think about is the fect that its after 3am which means i cant order jimmyjohns unitll tomorrow?
Is 10AM too early for pizza and Dr. Pepper?
Only if 5PM is too early to be drunk. And when has that ever stopped us?
Her hand jobs are magic. They smell like vanilla and awesomeness. She made me forget how to walk
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