I want to make a zoo with you.
I'm pregaming with America's Best Dance Crew.
Do a shot everytime Lil' Mama mispronounces a word.
I just spiked the applesauce. Try to tell me again your party is better.
considering how much of last night I don't remember and the amount of ones laying on my desk right now, it's safe to say I'm concerned
Like what kind of adult things? Whats more adult than drinking at 2pm on a monday?
Waking up to find your mom holding your birth control pills and telling you I suggest you take this
It was going alright when lo and behold Tom the cock blocking tornado hits. He is the only man I know who doesn't want anyone to fuck girls.
2 reasons we need to wear those onesies to the bar more ofter 1) comfy as shit 2) we both still got laid\n\nHow can you resist that kinda night?
And suddenly....Tubas. Tubas everywhere.
I forgot drug dealers have families, too. Cheers to a sober, uncomfortable, slightly enraging Thanksgiving.
Yo. What's your name again? You put "don't tell your landlord" as your name lol
I HAVE PIZZA MONEY AT ALL TIMES IT'S CALL EMERGENCY PLANNING
I just met a drunk old lady with a bedazzled life alert alarm around her neck. I love casinos
he's a mother fucking interior design major!! we boned and fell asleep and now we're laying in bed discussing what color i should paint my room. i'm marrying him
Sooooo drunk. We had the best sex ever and after he looked at me and said "That's whats up". I looked at him weird and he said "Young Jeezy would say it" and passed out on me naked. I think i might be in love
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