i jhust puked up my retainher.
Just wanted to make sure that my favorite hot mess is still alive. I dont need words, just a response of any sort. K hope youre living
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This is sufficient.
Thank God. You really dodged a small penis there.
I'm a 23 year old virgin. I've masturbated in ways you can't even imagine.
i just got drunk dialed and its 10am. clearly finals are over.
I've slowly been stuffing french fries down his pants. I'm at 31 and he hasn't even noticed.
I lost it last night. That was humiliating. Cincinnati is now covered in my puke.
My mother walked into the bathroom at 345 am while I was splashing in the bathtub with the remnants of her birthday cake all over me... she looked at me and walked out...
its official: beach shits are the exact same as mountain shits
I like how he had to correct himself in stating that I was the fat one in the threesome.
Calm the fuck down fatty, you can add creme de menthe to a vanilla shake any time of the year
I don't understand why you aren't on this trip all I do is smoke weed drink beer and get fingered
I warned you. Don't come crying to me when your vagina refuses to forgive you for this.
He wants to tie me naked and spread out on his table, press a vibrator to my clit and feed me ice cream.
That is my stoner wet dream!
In fairness you've introduced me to a lot of people I've only met once, for like 5 seconds, while drunk
Randomize
