Did yall have sex?
Well we both woke up naked and there was a condom wrapper on the floor, but I don't remember so does that count?
Def not... that's how I managed to keep my number under 10 for all of college- If you don't remember, it didn't happen
So then I told him that only a restaurant managed by a florida fan could run out of ketchup
Dude, you were so drunk last night that when we went into subway, you forgot the word for bread.
She sucked my dick when I had a concussion. It was the coolest feeling ever but the doctor said it was a bad idea. He's obviously gay.
I don't think I can handle being a slut. There is a lot more emotional stress that I never realized.
"too many" and "free shots" never belong in the same sentence
see these eyes, they just want to bone and go to sleep.
Just for the record its a bit awkward when you introduced me to your friends at your house as your brother and then insisted in front of them that I sleep in your bed with you
And now to play every stoner's favorite game: Where the Fuck Did We Park the Car?! Disneyland Edition!
We are not having sex in the fucking kindergarten
So yeah, my old kindergarten teacher just asked me who gave me the hickies on me neck.
Who the fuck watches Jessica jones and thinks I need to call a past fling?
Is it bad I use my AA meeting to hookup with guys?
U wanna come over and watch talidaga nights. Ill make pancakes
What? It's 130 in the morning.
Aww come on i make bomb ass pancakes
I'm not saying it wasn't great. I'm just saying sleeping with a gassy, depressed,45 year old mother was a different experience. Would do it again though.
Randomize
