I dint menn to makr ut w brtendr
Wat???
U lft me at bar, no cassh for cab, may have slept with bartender
that was the first time i tried it. why is it all sticky? its like somebody threw a glue bottle at my face.
She was sleeping without a shirt so I thought I wouldI sneaked a peek at her nipples..than I realized they were just warts...on her back.
I cant remeber how long i've been laying here...it could be 10 minutes to a fucking day
I put it into a sports analogy for him: there are three teams in the league- friends, fuck buddies, and dating, and the fuck buddies roster is full, pick an alternate team
there's a picture of him beating off in the library with a cowboy hat. please steer clear of this one if you ever want to be respected.
It got a little outta hand when you wanted to do body shots on the table.. at Dennys.. at 4 AM.. with lemonade
It's great having no responsibilities. In normal life I would be freaking the fuck out right about now. But the only worry I have from last night is where i got this shower caddy full of cookies. God I love college.
I was riding her and she yelled "fuck me" then someone in the room next door yelled "you don't have to say it if youre doing it."
I'll do a soapy photo shoot for you in the shower. No loofas, though. Once you get one of those caught in your nipple ring, you never go back.
I learned something last night. Strippers can be on house arrest?
If I'm going to start compromising my butthole it's going to be for much better drugs than a ventolin
We hit a deer while we were singing an acapella version of "I will always love you"
We stopped mid-sex and both shotgunned a beer then got back to it. Is this what love feels like?
I just found a live peacock hanging out behind the bar. I coerced it into my car and now I have a peacock bro that lives with me.
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