Microwave minutes are longer than normal minutes.
buying booze in bulk is always a bad idea. i wish there was some direct deposit-like system
She deep throated me and when I woke up she made me pizza. I was full of emotions I started to cry.
Stole every fake plant from the lobby and placed it in front of you're apartment door, Enjoy!
This guy needs to come out; I can feel him sucking my dick from across the room.
Im on my period and I feel like I'm going to die. The only thing that can make this tolerable is for you to eat me out in the shower. Please. I'll do anything.
Thanks for the cold. I shartted and sat through a whole soccer game. James made 3 scores.
Fighting the urge to throw up all over my little brothers jr high basketball bench. Welcome home aaron
fucked a girl in Bentley hall at ten tonight, came on the carpet and I plan on doing it in another building soon. Watch where you walk
I'm never going out with the ashleys again. it was whoreible. terrifyingly whoreible.
sweet Jesus, who thought 13 martinis was a good idea? 11 was probably sufficient.
she's always on high-alert for lesbians
Hey I didn't mean to come across like I was judging you about your liberal sexual choices. I would like details of your threesome if you need to talk about it!
I passed out while searching "symptoms of narcolepsy"...
Im gonna start dry humping the manequins and see if i get fired.
Randomize
