We walked 2 miles, legit 2 miles, and purchased 7 half gallons. One for each of us. Intense
That was a long time ago. She needed the money.
I hit a bug from across the room with my flip flop boomerang style. That awesome.
I don't know how I'm boarding the plane tomorrow. I have my car registration.
I feel like I wont be making enough money to support my frivilous lifestyle of beer and mcdonalds
Just watched a guy ride a bike off his roof into his pool. On my way to the liquor store, picking you up in 20
This is a mass text. First one to reply gets head.
Before anyone claims this, this chick is in my boyfriend's phone as "Worst BJ EVER!"
Does that mean you're calling dibs or can I?
which one of you assholes put my new jeans down the garbage disposal?!
I wrapped my scarf around his head and then made him go down on me
And I also said, "probe me"
hey now, it was 6 bucks for 5 shots. you would have lost your panties too.
Wow my largely unnecessary pool of lizard-related knowledge finally came in handy. Are you proud?
I don't know what to say
I should get him a card "thanks for letting me use you for your penis on and off as I see fit and for being a nice guy. My boobs and I appreciate your loyalty and dedication"
I got hella high today and freaked out about life and interest rates
you don't even have a vagina so you don't get to tell me what to put in mine
EXCEPT MY COUSIN SAW MY SEX TAPE!
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