Michael Jackson and Farah Fawcett are dead
NOOOOOOOO not MJ! Someone tell the paramedic to grab him by the heart and just "Beat it"
If i have to listen to his problems about his girlfriend, he should at least let me suck his cock.
I'm on a mission to free the leash kids. Like liberating the Israelites from Egypt. Only better.
winter break is going to suck... i have to put away my college personality and transform into who my parents think i am.
found out this morning via facebook that the guy i met last night has a wife and a baby and he took me to his apartment where he takes girls to cheat on his wife
i mean you met him at the daytona 500
Bring your kids so they can distract our kids so we can drink beer in peace.
You don't have to be drunk! I've licked your asshole before
Weird question, would you want to do fetish porn? you get paid.
i probably shouldve stopped when i uncurled the curly straw in my cocktail because it was slowing me down
He's cute when he's drunk, too. Also he tried to fight my door...
She must've been waiting down the street cause after I said I specialized in inner-thigh-face-massage it couldn't have been 2 minutes until she was on my couch.
"This is Emily. She likes potatoes. And sometimes laughs and cries at the same time, and has a wonderful butt"
Let's just say it was like a porno version of Aladdin....
I'll tell you that it involved a pair of pliers and a trip to the ER.
I demand a full explanation right now.
Oh my god.. Saw a commercial for Captain Morgan. Made me gag a little bit.
Randomize
